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## Posts

- [Most Socially Intelligent CEO’s](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/most-socially-intelligent-ceos/) - Social intelligence is at the heart of leadership. After all, leadership is mainly about converting people’s potential into performance, and aligning their contributions towards an objective. And this requires understanding them and then connecting with them at emotional level by interpreting subtle cues and invisible interconnections.This is ‘Social intelligence’ at work! And when it
- [In relationships, retention is directly proportional to attention](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/in-relationships-retention-is-directly-proportional-to-attention/) - Imagine that you are witnessing a typical interaction between two persons at the beginning of their relationship, when each of them wants the other to consider them as a preferable option. So what would be your observation of their interaction? Well! In all probability, it would be: Almost unflinching eye-contact Torsos aimed at each other
- [Testimonial from Kalpesh Thacker](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-kalpesh-thacker/)
- [Testimonial from Vaishali Anand](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-vaishali-anand/)
- [The Neuroscience of Suicidal Tendencies](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/the-neuroscience-of-suicidal-tendencies/) - An article (blog post) on what neuroscience can teach us about the neurobiological mechanism working behind suicidal tendencies, and possible prevention-tips.
- [A Brief History of Emotional Intelligence](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/a-brief-history-of-emotional-intelligence/) - An article (blog post) on brief history of Emotional Intelligence, EQ, Social Intelligence, SQ, and formulation of 'Emotional & Social Intelligence'
- [Testimonial from Utkarsh Bhargava](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-utkarsh-bhargava/)
- [Testimonial from Shalini Chaudhary](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-shalini-chaudhary/)
- [Testimonial from Dr. Sukhmeet Kaur](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-dr-sukhmeet-kaur/)
- [Testimonial from Dr. Ayushi Sharma](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-dr-ayushi-sharma/)
- [Testimonial from CA Ishani Maheshwari](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-ca-ishani-maheshwari/)
- [Testimonial from Dr. Shalya Anand](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-dr-shalya-anand/)
- [Testimonial from Dr. Khushbu A. Trehan](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-dr-khushbu-a-trehan/)
- [Testimonial from Kunj Ahuja](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-kunj-ahuja/)
- [Testimonial from Vaibhav Pandey](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-vaibhav-pandey-2/)
- [Testimonial from Pallavi Joshi](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-pallavi-joshi/)
- [Testimonial from Rohit Chouhan](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-rohit-chouhan/)
- [Testimonial from Shruti Verma](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-shruti-verma/)
- [Testimonial from Kanan Pardeshi](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-kanan-pardeshi/)
- [Testimonial from Hemant Koge](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-hemant-koge/)
- [Testimonial from Jitendra Patel](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-jitendra-patel/)
- [Testimonial from Varun Chinche](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-varun-chinche/)
- [Testimonial from Jaykant Pandey](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-jaykant-pandey/)
- [Testimonial from Yashi Chauhan](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-yashi-chauhan/)
- [Testimonial from Ankur Jain](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-ankur-jain/)
- [Testimonial from Vidit Sharma](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-vidit-sharma/)
- [Testimonial from Mohit Chhabra!](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-of-mohit-chhabra/)
- [Testimonial from Dr. Sheetal Kanwal](https://www.socialigence.net/testimonials/testimonial-from-dr-sheetal-kanwal/)
- [Why teenagers behave the way they do!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/why-teenagers-behave-the-way-they-do/) - They are temperamental – can change from overexcited to glum in a moment, only to relapse into the zing again. They are reckless – can go to any extent to chase a high or belong to a clique, only to wonder later why they did so. They are cocky, they are messy, they are bratty,
- [How to prevent office politics and build greater rapport!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-to-prevent-office-politics-and-build-greater-rapport/) - Have you ever considered the gravity of the fact that we spend most of the waking hours of most of our adult life not at home but in office…not with parents but seniors…not with life-partner but colleagues…not with our kids but our juniors! And have you ever wondered about the metaphorical cost of not getting
- [Why most techies suck at management – the simple secret of soft skills!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/why-most-techies-suck-at-management-the-simple-secret-of-soft-skills/) - They say “After first two levels in a hierarchy, every profile is essentially managerial”. Well, even if the statement is guilty of taking some cinematic liberty to paint management larger than life, if you look at the KRAs and JDs, or hear the feedback remarks in the tedious performance appraisal meetings, you realize that the
- [Never get emotionally shut down!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/never-get-emotionally-shut-down/) - It’s a strange world. There are so many of us out here and still there are so many of us who feel lonely… there are so many of us connected virtually and still there are so many of us who are deprived of even a single real connection. Yup, it’s a strange world! And what
- [Why most people dislike their bosses](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/why-most-people-dislike-their-bosses/) - “BOSS - Bunch Of Superiority Syndromes”! Well, I still remember this hilarious full-form a participant had shared with me during a workshop I was conducting in my early days in the domain. Since then, the full-form hasn’t left my memory – partly because of its high recall-value (courtesy the humor) and partly due to the
- [How to deal with oversensitivity](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-to-deal-with-oversensitivity/) - It’s strange how most people oscillate between the two extreme states of sensitivity, seldom settling at an optimum level, somewhere around the middle, within a range favoring sanity. Those two states are – insensitivity and oversensitivity. While insensitive people become a reason for other people’s problems, oversensitive people consistently remain a reason for their own
- [How to observe like Sherlock in profession](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-to-observe-like-sherlock-in-profession/) - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s legendary character Sherlock Holmes once says to his friend Dr. Watson “You see, but you do not observe. The distinction is clear”. Well, that statement could well be said by any mentor to a protégé or any leader to a follower as a potent reply to the question “What is the
- [Formula of understanding human behavior](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/formula-of-understanding-human-behavior/) - No matter how foolproof a process you devise, how flawless a system you build, or how brilliant a plan you sketch out, you will still find two persons standing at both ends of it. And until you have them on board and on the same page, you will never be able to succeed in your
- [How to maintain motivation](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-to-maintain-motivation/) - Any achievement of significance has its gestation period – a phase where you only see input going in, with the output still shrouded by the cloud of uncertainty. And going through this period isn’t easy or comfortable. After all, there is actual investment of time, energy and resources, yet the returns are still notional in
- [Why does conflict arise in discussions?](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/why-does-conflict-arise-in-discussions/) - “That’s not what I meant!”… “Will you please let me complete!”… “Don’t put your words in my mouth!”… “That’s not what I said!”… “This is going nowhere!”… “It is nothing but a figment of your imagination”… “You are impossible!” – Eavesdrop on any meeting or discussion in the closed conference rooms and either you will
- [Why most people are unhappy after appraisal](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/why-most-people-are-unhappy-after-appraisal/) - Carl Rogers, one of the founders of humanistic psychology, suggested that our Self-concept – the frame upon which our personality is based – comprises of three aspects: Self-image – the way we see ourselves; Self-esteem – the value we place upon ourselves; and Ideal-self – the way we would like to become. And problems tend
- [How to resist temptation and think long-term](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-to-resist-temptation-and-think-long-term/) - “Now or never”… “Hurry, offer expiring”… “What are you waiting for?”… “Choose it or lose it”… “When it’s gone it’s gone”… “Don’t wait, the time will never be just right”… “Don’t miss it!”… “It ends today!”… Whoa! What’s going on here! Look around and you will find that our life is inundated by such phrases
- [How to fight distractions and maintain focus](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-to-fight-distractions-and-maintain-focus/) - “Can you please let me focus on one thing”… is the unheard pleading cry of every brain these days. Yes, even while reveling into the boundless opportunities for enjoyable distractions, and indulging into continuously coming ‘heady doses of dopamine joy’ through all new sensory pleasures scattered around, almost every brain must be murmuring these words
- [Here’s the most ‘natural’ solution to work tensions!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/heres-the-most-natural-solution-to-work-tensions/) - Today, our lives literally revolve around our work. Whether in terms of number of hours we spend at workplace or the space it occupies on our mind-shelf, the fact remains that the work and matters related to it are mostly on the top of your mind. Now we don’t need a recessionary economy or poor
- [Why Happiness Quotient matters at workplace?](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/why-happiness-quotient-matters-at-workplace/) - Delve into any human endeavor for its essential purpose and you will find that it always boils down to ‘pursuit of happiness’. All the monies, designations, awards and rewards are eventually targeted at that one abstract emotion that manifests as a moment of serene bliss, exciting ecstasy, heartfelt laughter or a smile of fulfillment. Isn’t
- [How to develop solution mindset?](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-to-develop-solution-mindset/) - Some people have a knack of finding solutions. They aren’t the most brilliant person in the room, or even the most resourceful. Yet ideas strike them more often, propositions occur to them more clearly, and they generate more options and choices. How do they do that? Well, while other factors like knowledge, experience and preparation
- [How to deal with stress in a new job?](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-to-deal-with-stress-in-a-new-job/) - It’s amazing how almost everyone likes ‘change’ only as long as they have a ‘control’ over it! That is why the moment you come across ‘uncontrollable change’, it takes form of uncertainty, ambiguity, or chaos; and leads to anxiety, restlessness and stress. In profession, this gets manifested specifically at the time of new project, assignment,
- [Is it good to make friends at workplace?](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/is-it-good-to-make-friends-at-workplace/) - “Compartmentalize”! Isn’t this the advice that most prudent people have been giving to mere mortals? Yup! That has been the norm for the ‘wise of the world’ to manage one’s life – keep them separate; don’t mix different domains of your life. But is it possible? Is it possible in a world where the boundaries
- [Feedback and Performance – the all-important link!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/feedback-and-performance-the-all-important-link/) - “Everyone deserves a feedback”! Yes, irrespective of age, domain, or level of job, everyone deserves to know how they are doing in what they are doing. You don’t need to be compelled by a system or guided by a diktat, you don’t need to do it formally or in a particular format, and you don’t
- [One point to remember while conveying a decision to someone](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/one-point-to-remember-while-conveying-a-decision-to-someone/) - Have you ever witnessed or experienced ‘road rage’ – episode of sudden spiked-anger a person exhibits due to some action of a fellow driver on the road. In most case, you would find that people’s reaction is ‘out of proportion’. While there are multiple angles involved in the phenomenon (like territoriality), one important reason behind
- [How unfairness or bias of seniors sabotages workplace morale](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-unfairness-or-bias-of-seniors-sabotages-workplace-morale/) - “That’s not fair”! ...”What do they think of themselves”? ...”Not again”! …”Transparency my foot”! ...”Why can’t they practice what they preach”? ...“Oh that blue-eyed boy again”! Well, walk corridors of corporate, and you will surely come across these words and phrases which are uttered in hushed tone and are still audible due to the sheer
- [Why you should never criticize someone in front of others](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/why-you-should-never-criticize-someone-in-front-of-others/) - Look around – at LinkedIn profiles, Facebook DPs, Whatsapp status, Instagram updates! What do you see? Well! You will see a natural tendency of us – the social animals – to look good, to gain attention, to seem superior, to sound wiser, and to be seen as an achiever. Even the most self-driven people relish
- [Multitasking – the modern epidemic](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/multitasking-the-modern-epidemic/) - There has always been something peculiar about humans’ insatiable desire to explore, experience, achieve and control everything conceivable. For all the eras gone by, we were bogged down by the constraints of time and space. And then suddenly, there was an explosion of technology, and those constraints began to get conquered literally ‘bit by bit’.
- [How to get rid of painful memories](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-to-get-rid-of-painful-memories/) - Past can be a huge burden if it doesn’t pass. It is even more applicable in case of negative events, as their memories tend to hold you back and affect your ability to make new beginnings and take new initiatives. So failing an examination, flunking in an assignment, getting betrayed in a deal, being shortchanged
- [How to communicate effectively](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-to-communicate-effectively/) - Are words enough to carry a message to people? Is there more to communication than just speaking? What is it that connects to people beyond what you say? What separates impactful communication from mere exchange of information? What is it about great public speakers that moves people? Well, answers to these questions contain in them
- [How emotions affect our choices](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-emotions-affect-our-choices/) - We call ourselves Homo sapiens – Latin for ‘wise man’ - with great pride, and our conversations are filled with phrases like ‘be rational’, ‘don’t be emotional’, ‘filter out the feelings’, ‘use your head not the heart’, ‘see the facts’, ‘stay logical’. Little do we know that such expressions are not only incorrect but also
- [Does it really pass? – Understanding the transference of emotions](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/does-it-really-pass-understanding-the-transference-of-emotions/) - “Let bygones be bygones”…“That’s water under the bridge now”…“Forgive and forget”…”This too shall pass” – such important pieces of advice, aren’t they? But does it really work that way? Is it so easily possible to erase memories (specifically the negative ones) and move on? Well, with due respect to all the well-intentioned phrases and phrasing,
- [Heuristics – the mental shortcuts that affect our decisions](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/heuristics-the-mental-shortcuts-that-affect-our-decisions/) - “Where’s the time?” – For an average professional, that’s the biggest question as well as quandary. Addicted to speed and rushed to the hilt, today’s professional is trying to run at full throttle – multitasking and multithreading all the time, in the name of efficiency and response-time. There is hardly any time to verify, confirm,
- [How emotions turn into moods, and impact work](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-emotions-turn-into-moods-and-impact-work/) - Professionalism hinges on a fine balance of all sorts – cognitive, emotional and social. That’s why, all workplaces are fenced by invisible codes of conduct. Still, it’s amazing how, emotions seep into all professional situations & scenarios and work beneath all the sophisticated moves, impacting their outcomes. It’s a reality, and that’s why it is
- [What every ‘body’ says – the importance of self-awareness at workplace](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/what-every-body-says-the-importance-of-self-awareness-at-workplace/) - At today’s workplace, which is inundated by data, reports, charts, presentations, analytics, statistics etc., people often discount the importance of relatively softer aspects - like intrapersonal & interpersonal ones - in decision making and management. However, what they forget is that all the number-crunching, interpretation, and correlation is done inside an organ that is housed
- [Reaction vs. Response – why it is important to ‘analyze before concluding’](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/reaction-vs-response-why-it-is-important-to-analyze-before-concluding/) - Metaphorically speaking, the annals of interpersonal communication are replete with the incidents when people have lost a relationship or an association due to one conversation gone wrong, one word said too many, one burst that came of out of the blue or one preconceived notion that came into play. Well, look back at life and
- [Emotional labor is as exhausting as the physical one](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/emotional-labor-is-as-exhausting-as-the-physical-one-2/) - ‘Humans are social animals’ – you must have heard this line quite often. Yes, we humans are social animals, and you bet, it is not easy to be that. Haven’t we all experienced it at some point of time in life? That feeling when the animal inside us wants to make clear choices but the
- [Words express thoughts, and body expresses emotions](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/words-express-thoughts-and-body-expresses-emotions-2/) - In any interpersonal interaction, it’s a rare privilege to have the WYSIWYG factor - ‘What you see is what you get’. Well, it is because, in our civilized world, most of the interactions are extremely multilayered. You have to constantly play the guessing-game for intents and motives – “Does he really mean what he says”?
- [You cannot see facts when you are still fighting the feelings](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/you-cannot-see-facts-when-you-are-still-fighting-the-feelings/) - Though we call ourselves Homo sapiens – wise men, the fact remains that we are not some purely rational beings who always operate through clinical intelligence towards properly-weighed outcomes. Yes, day in day out, we break into a behavior, make our choices and take our decisions under the influence of emotions. They literally shape our
- [Emotions are contagious](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/emotions-are-contagious/) - I was upset…because she was upset. …but seeing me upset, she got more upset…which made me upset even more. And now it was a ‘self-sustaining chain’. So I paused. Breathed deeply. …and then I smiled, to which she didn’t. I still smiled, this time she attempted a fake one. …which made me laugh, to which she
- [Denial of a feeling doesn’t dissolve it](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/denial-of-a-feeling-doesnt-dissolve-it/) - Emotions silently shape our perceptions, memories and thoughts; and are the motivating force behind our today’s actions and tomorrow’s behavior. They get such a high importance in our awareness that the non-emotional events find it virtually impossible to displace emotionally-charged ones from the mind-shelf. All this, and still our feelings do not get the respect
- [Forgetting negative experiences isn’t easy](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/forgetting-negative-experiences-isnt-easy/) - How good it would be if we could simply flush the negative memories down the drain and selectively remember and focus on the positive ones! Well, such a wonderful notion, except the reality is almost 180 degree opposite. Yes, with due respect to the positive psychology movement out there, fact is that human brain has
- [People still don’t care how much you know unless they know how much you care](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/people-still-dont-care-how-much-you-know-unless-they-know-how-much-you-care/) - “People don’t care how much you know unless they know how much you care” – some people give the credit for this line to Theodore Roosevelt, and some say that it was said by John C. Maxwell. Irrespective of who said it, one thing is for sure that there is hardly any other set of
- [To build connection, you first need to pay attention](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/to-build-connection-you-first-need-to-pay-attention/) - The other day, in a workshop, in response to a couple’s query on ‘loss of connect’, I said… “Start looking into each other’s eyes more often. Remember, you didn’t look into each other’s eyes because you were in love. You were in love because you used to look into each other’s eyes”, and then I
- [Will power is a finite resource](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/will-power-is-a-finite-resource/) - “Control boy control…you can’t act on every thought that comes in your head!” said grandpa with affectionate aggression. Well! He isn’t around anymore, nor am I a boy anymore, yet the words still echo in my mind as I write this piece. It’s amazing, isn’t it? What he said to the ‘distracted me’ while teaching
- [You cannot underestimate pain of an intangible hurt](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/you-cannot-underestimate-pain-of-an-intangible-hurt/) - Most of us must have come across someone who is doing poorly at work after a problem cropped up at home front, or someone who just can’t concentrate on studies after being ridiculed in front of classmates, or someone who refuses to leave her room because of a nasty comment about her looks, or someone
- [‘New Year’s Resolution’ a leader should make for 2018](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/new-years-resolution-a-leader-should-make-for-2018/) - Well! Research says that just 8% of people achieve their New Year’s Resolutions, and in fact 80% of New Year’s Resolutions fail by February. But leadership is all about doing things against the odds. Isn’t it? As a popular quote by John Maxwell goes… “A leader is the one who knows the way, goes the
- [Leadership – An interpersonal skill that’s part of everyone’s job](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/leadership-an-interpersonal-skill-thats-part-of-everyones-job/) - Many people ask “if everyone will lead, who will follow?” – The question hints towards a big misconception that people carry about leadership. Leadership is not some profile that you reach, designation you are given, or an authority you assume. On the contrary, leadership is a role that you play irrespective of your profile, designation or
- [The Changing role of Leadership!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/the-changing-role-of-leadership/) - Why do people work? – For money…position…respect…challenges? And why do they leave companies? – For more money…better position…higher respect…greater challenges? While it is convenient to attribute people’s behavior at workplace to these tangible factors, fact is that once basic needs are met, Why do people work? – For money…position…respect…challenges? And why do they leave companies?
- [From a leader to a mentor, with social & emotional intelligence!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/what-makes-a-leader-a-mentor/) - In an era of numerous WhatsApp messages, Facebook quotes, YouTube videos of life coaches, and blog-posts (like the one you are reading), motivational words are prevalent to the extent of being clichéd. Now you don’t need a leader to mouth them. So how should a leader motivate now? How should a leader inspire? Well! A
- [Leadership – Motivation cannot be off-the-shelf!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/leadership-motivation-cannot-be-off-the-shelf/) - So how would a classic case of motivation-misfired look like? Well! Pretty much this way… A team-member not performing well…her manager calling her for a meeting…manager using the most confident voice, quoting the most quotable quotes, and maintaining the most intense eye-contact, and sending the team-member with a pat on the back...and…after a while, team-member
- [5 things leaders with ‘Social & Emotional Intelligence’ NEVER do](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/5-things-leaders-with-social-emotional-intelligence-never-do/) - They say…“they don’t care how much you know unless they know how much you care”!Well! There has hardly ever been a sentence more representative of the role that social intelligence and emotional intelligence play in leadership. ‘Social & Emotional Intelligence’ (SEI) is the “Ability to adapt one’s behavior on the basis of awareness of one’s
- [Leadership – Bringing out the Best!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/leadership-bringing-out-the-best/) - Isn’t it strange that while some people tend to bring out the best in us, some others invoke the side of ours which we aren’t proud of!Well! Believe it or not, each one of us has a similar varying effect on people. So what’s at work here? The fact is that we humans are open
- [What team-members don’t tell their leaders about them!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/what-team-members-dont-tell-their-leaders-about-them/) - Often leaders are too busy to introspect. They are so busy giving feedback that they seldom pause to take feedback about themselves. Even the well-intentioned exercises like 360-degree appraisal become mere rituals where people only say what they can get away with -after all, what goes around comes around, so who will bell the cat?
- [How to build better connections with your team](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-to-build-better-connections-with-your-team/) - Leadership is essentially an interpersonal skill; and this thought can only take prominence when we start to look at people not as resource but as source. Yes, at the core of functioning of a team is the connection between the ‘person at the helm’ and ‘people in the team’. This connection is too important to
- [How to become a more responsive parent through attunement](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-to-become-a-more-responsive-parent-through-attunement/) - The most unique characteristic of parenting is that it is a lifelong pursuit. No matter how much we claim to compartmentalize and let go, the fact is that “Once a parent, always a parent”. In spite of all the modernization, the deeply woven evolutionary-tendencies invariably make parenting the most significant role of our lives. That’s
- [How managers can resolve workplace conflicts effectively](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-managers-can-resolve-workplace-conflicts-effectively/) - Workplace is a whole world in itself. People coming from diverse backgrounds, with different experiences, having distinct personalities; all stacked together in a notional hierarchy; reacting towards ever-increasing demands of an ever-changing marketplace. Well! In such a setting, conflicts are inevitable. Such conflicts, though understandable, can make workplace less conducive & more stressful, taking a
- [Building a positive teacher-student connection](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/building-a-positive-teacher-student-connection/) - We are living in a world where: Parents are getting far lesser time with their children Family as an institution is going through a major restructuring Society has an alternate form – virtual. These changes have made the role of teachers even more significant and holistic. They cannot be merely subject experts or inculcators of
- [How to win people over with your ideas](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-to-win-people-over-with-your-ideas/) - “People don’t care how much you know unless they know how much you care”! Everyone from Theodore Roosevelt to John C. Maxwell has been given credit for this line, and yet there is no line more befittingly applicable to everyone from Manhattan to Papua New Guinea; and that too everywhere – in community-circles, corridors, cabins
- [How to detect deception while interviewing a candidate](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-to-detect-deception-while-interviewing-a-candidate/) - If you would ask anybody in the management fraternity to name an organization exemplifying excellence in customer-service, more often than not you would find that the reply would be “Nordstrom”. And as the legend goes, Nordstrom’s employee handbook has only one line: "Use your best judgment in all situations. There will be no additional rules".
- [Best CRM activity is looking at the customer.](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/best-crm-activity-is-looking-at-the-customer/) - We all know that ‘humans are social animals’. Even one look at our evolution will vindicate the fact that we could survive all that we did because we were ‘smarter’ and ‘connected’.But are we connecting anymore? Look around and you would find that if not destroyed, the very basis of our social being is surely
- [Words express thoughts...and body expresses emotions](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/words-express-thoughts-and-body-expresses-emotions/) - I am sure that some of you will be skeptic about this premise. I mean, how can we claim that body’s movements – gestures, postures, and expressions – represent our emotions more authentically than words? Well! The answer lies in the design of our brain. According to the concept of ‘Triune Brain’, formulated in 1960s
- [Our choices are shaped more by our emotional realities than by our intelligent assumptions](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/our-choices-are-shaped-more-by-our-emotional-realities-than-by-our-intelligent-assumptions/) - They say, it is always easier said than done. And it surely isn’t wrong. All of us know that it is good to jog, but how many of us do? All of us know that it is better to forgive, but how many of us can? All of us know that it is bad to
- [You can hear through your ears, but to listen, you also need your eyes.](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/you-can-hear-through-your-ears-but-to-listen-you-also-need-your-eyes/) - Listening is not an art, it is a science, with sensitivity of an art. And most people listen poorly not because ‘they don’t want to’ but because ‘they don’t know how to’. In fact, if someone has a commonsensical view that ears are where the listening takes place, they literally can’t ‘see’ the fact -
- [Mental health suffers when there is dissonance in life.](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/mental-health-suffers-when-there-is-dissonance-in-life/) - According to my model, with due respect to other factors, there are four major forms of dissonance that affect mental health: First, when there is dissonance between your ‘reality’ and your ‘projection’. For example, if you are average but you project yourself as very knowledgeable; or if your relationship with your partner is deteriorating but
- [Every interpersonal interaction has intrapersonal subtext to it](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/every-interpersonal-interaction-has-intrapersonal-subtext-to-it/) - Whenever two persons interact, their respective psychological worlds subtly shape the mode, manner, progression and fate of their interpersonal interaction. Yes, people tend to discuss what happened between them without investigating what was happening inside them when something happened between them. It is true for all disagreements, confrontations, dissent, conflicts, and even vengeance & violence.
- [Normal is the new Good](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/normal-is-the-new-good/) - Yes, talking in terms of emotional & mental health, ‘Normal is the new good”. And honestly, it is difficult to now get people who don’t have emotional reactions that are ‘out of place…out of context…out of proportion…and out of the blue’. In other words, it is difficult to get people whose emotional reactions are not
- [Leadership – Don’t just network, connect!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/leadership-dont-just-network-connect/) - Beyond a level, leadership is not only about “what you know” but also about “who you know”.When you hear successful people saying that ‘it’s a small world’, actually it is the radius of their circle that is increasing.Yes! Leaders need to continuously expand their orbits of influence – by making long-term meaningful associations that are
- [Leadership – Power to Empower!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/leadership-power-to-empower-1/) - Is leadership about charisma? Or is it about persona? Or about great speeches? Well! In a world with decreasing attention-span and increasing hunger for stimulation, often people confuse extroversion & impressiveness with leadership. But nothing can be farther from truth. The reality is that “Leadership is not about how good you are, rather it is
- [The skill you weren’t taught at B-school!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/the-skill-you-werent-taught-at-b-school/) - Management is not a competitive activity, it is essentially a cooperative one.A good manager is like thread in the necklace and not the pearl. He or she is supposed to weave people – a grand generalist bringing specialists together. However, the B-schools, even with their hearts in the right place, have not been able to
- [How SQ – Social Intelligence Quotient – helps in workplace](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-sq-social-intelligence-quotient-helps-in-workplace/) - Organizations are social entities. No matter how many systems and processes are made, you will always find a human standing at each end of every thread. That’s why Social Intelligence – first propounded by Edward Thorndike and later popularized by Daniel Goleman – has been, and shall continue to be a major skill deciding success
- [Difference between IQ, EQ and SQ – the Social Intelligence, and why SQ is the future!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/difference-between-iq-eq-and-sq-the-social-intelligence-and-why-sq-is-the-future/) - First it was Intelligence quotient - IQ. Formulated by psychologists like Alfred Binet and later conceptualized by psychologist William Stern,IQincludes qualities like analytical skills, logical reasoning, ability to relatemultiple things, and ability to store and retrieve information. IQ tests check this through various questions related to reading comprehension, data interpretation, logical reasoning, verbal ability, visual-spatial
- [10 skills you will need to succeed at workplace in 2020](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/10-skills-you-will-need-to-succeed-at-workplace-in-2020/) - When Marshall Goldsmith and Mark Reiter wrote their popular book “What got you here won’t get you there”, little did theyknow that it was not just title of a book but an eternal truth that got a syntax!It holds true in all sorts of domains and contexts, and work-skills are no exception.The Institute for the
- [6 Signs that you have social intelligence](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/6-signs-that-you-have-social-intelligence/) - An article on Social Intelligence – Observing Nonverbal Behavior and Understanding Emotions – by Dr. Sandeep Atre Social intelligence is best defined as‘Observing nonverbal behavior and understanding emotions for greater interpersonal effectiveness and self-management’.However, it is a root skill which gives rise to many other related-qualities. So let’s see those six signs that prove that
- [5 Ways to increase your social intelligence](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/5-ways-to-increase-your-social-intelligence/) - An article on Social Intelligence – Observing Nonverbal Behavior and Understanding Emotions – by Dr. Sandeep Atre It is a cliché to say that ‘we humans are social animals’, and yet you bet that there can never be a statement more important than this one for deriving maximum happiness, success and significance out of one’s
- [Only thing worse than ‘selecting wrong person’ is…‘rejecting right person’!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/only-thing-worse-than-selecting-wrong-person-isrejecting-right-person/) - An article on Social Intelligence – Observing Nonverbal Behavior and Understanding Emotions – by Dr. Sandeep Atre People are not biggest asset of a company…’right people’ are. .......... Hiring people with the right intellect, skills, values and cultural-match is the most important aspect of management. And it’s HR that recruits, refines and retains ‘talent’. See
- [It is costly if you can’t detect deception!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/it-is-costly-if-you-cant-detect-deception/) - An article on Social Intelligence – Observing Nonverbal Behavior and Understanding Emotions – by Dr. Sandeep Atre According to Association of Certified Fraud Examiners (ACFE), typical organization loses 5% of its annual revenues to acts of deception, .......... Well! Deception is not unique to humans. Male fishes deceive rivals about their mate choices, ravens pretend
- [Before your partner says…“We need to talk”!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/before-your-partner-sayswe-need-to-talk-2/) - An article on Social Intelligence – Observing Nonverbal Behavior and Understanding Emotions – by Dr. Sandeep Atre Relationships can get terribly complex if you don’t pick initial emotional signals. .......... In an important study in 2015, researchers Yoo and Noyes found that the ability to recognize facial expressions of negative emotions predicts greater satisfaction in
- [Don’t sell…Consult!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/dont-sellconsult/) - An article on Social Intelligence – Observing Nonverbal Behavior and Understanding Emotions – by Dr. Sandeep Atre Selling was never meant to be pushy or persuasive. .......... It is always about: a) introducing people to something that can be of utility b) helping them understand how it can satisfy their needs, wants or desires c)
- [People don’t leave companies, they leave managers!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/people-dont-leave-companies-they-leave-managers/) - An article on Social Intelligence – Observing Nonverbal Behavior and Understanding Emotions – by Dr. Sandeep Atre As they say… “People don’t care how much you know, unless they know how much you care”. .......... Yes! A manager is not one of the pearls in a necklace, he or she is the thread that binds
- [Is everything ok dear?](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/is-everything-ok-dear/) - An article on Social Intelligence – Observing Nonverbal Behavior and Understanding Emotions – by Dr. Sandeep Atre You can hear through your ears… but ‘to listen’, you also need your eyes! .......... And this becomes especially important in close relationships. Yes! As researchers Schachner, Shaver and Mikulincer found, the ‘nonverbal sensitivity’ – i.e. ability to
- [Is that smile genuine? - 2](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/is-that-smile-genuine-2/) - An article on Social Intelligence – Observing Nonverbal Behavior and Understanding Emotions – by Dr. Sandeep Atre. 19th century poet Alfred Tennyson profoundly said “A lie that is half-truth is the darkest of all lies”. Something similar applies to smiles… But first, something about babies… In 1998, Sunday Mirror London reported about a couple
- [Why kids lie; and how to spot it?](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/why-kids-lie-and-how-to-spot-it-3/) - An article on Social Intelligence – Observing Nonverbal Behavior and Understanding Emotions – by Dr. Sandeep Atre By the time we humans are six months old, we can see the connection between our behavior and caretakers’ response. We fake a cry to gain attention, or pretend a laugh to gain affection… .......... And then lying
- [Why do ‘people in love’ look into each other’s eyes?](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/why-do-people-in-love-look-into-each-others-eyes/) - The answer lies in a beautiful secret of nonverbal behavior… Well! Pupils of eyes appear like two black spots at the centre-positions of the eyes. In bright light, their size decreases and when the light decreases their size increases to almost four times. But you know what? They are equally affected by emotional changes. Yes!
- [How a handshake can tell you if someone is lying?](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-a-handshake-can-tell-you-if-someone-is-lying/) - An article on Social Intelligence – Observing Nonverbal Behavior and Understanding Emotions – by Dr. Sandeep Atre. Well! The key is not the grip, duration or the strength of the handshake… it is the ‘temperature’. As I say in one of the video sessions of the ‘Observing Nonverbal behavior’ course of Socialigence… “Words express
- [The story of 'stress, rats & us'](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/the-story-of-stress-rats-us/) - Our story starts in late 1930s in a lab in Montreal where a young assistant professor Hans Selye was looking for some topic to begin his research career.
- [Is that smile genuine? - 1](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/is-that-smile-genuine-1/) - An article on Social Intelligence – Observing Nonverbal Behavior and Understanding Emotions – by Dr. Sandeep Atre. Psychologists Craig Smith and Heather Scott put it brilliantly – “Face has the only skeletal muscles of the body that are used, not to move ourselves, but to move others”. During Iraq war, US Army’s 3rd Infantry
- [Is that smile genuine? - 3](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/is-that-smile-genuine-3/) - A blog-post on Social Intelligence – Observing Nonverbal Behavior and Understanding Emotions – by Dr. Sandeep Atre. “Mona Lisa’s smile is 83% happiness, 9% disgust, 6% fear and 2% anger” according to research tool FACS (Facial Action Coding System). But why isn’t that smile 100% genuine happiness? Under the face lies a sort of
- [Is that smile genuine? - 4](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/is-that-smile-genuine-4/) - A blog-post on Social Intelligence – Observing Nonverbal Behavior and Understanding Emotions – by Dr. Sandeep Atre. “You can only hold a smile for so long! After that, it’s just teeth”… Well said novelist Chuck Palahniuk! In psychology, there is a term called ingratiator’s dilemma. It means that a person who is trying to
- [How to spot Oxytocin – the love hormone – just by looking?](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-to-spot-oxytocin-the-love-hormone-just-by-looking/) - A blog-post on Social Intelligence – Observing Nonverbal Behavior and Understanding Emotions – by Dr. Sandeep Atre Now it’s a popular fact that Oxytocin – also known as the love hormone – is responsible for ‘bonding’ in relationships. It gets released when people cuddle-up or even connect interpersonally. It brings calmness & closeness and
- [Cues you can't afford to miss!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/cues-you-cant-afford-to-miss/) - A blog-post on Social Intelligence – Observing Nonverbal Behavior and Understanding Emotions – by Dr. Sandeep Atre The most important quality of fulfilled relationships is ‘emotional connectedness’! And in order to connect emotionally, you have to first understand how someone is feeling; which can only be done by observing other person’s expressions, gestures and
- [Before reading other's mind, empty yours!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/before-reading-others-mind-empty-yours/) - A blog-post on Social Intelligence – Observing Nonverbal Behavior and Understanding Emotions – by Dr. Sandeep Atre “People usually find what they look for!”…is the caveat I tell people while training them on observing nonverbal behavior. Do you know? – While ‘genuine instinctive fear’ increases your ability to read people's behavior, prejudices decrease it.
- [Why ‘writing your feelings’ can improve your emotional health!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/why-writing-your-feelings-can-improve-your-emotional-health/) - A blog-post on Social Intelligence – Observing Nonverbal Behavior and Understanding Emotions – by Dr. Sandeep Atre. “It is good to say it, even when… no one is listening” In the matters of brain, nothing is that straight forward, yet let’s begin with a premise – Left side of our brain specializes in logic
- ["Achieving Goals"](https://www.socialigence.net/uncategorized/achieving-goals/)
- [Social Intelligence – The Essential Skill For Tomorrow’s ‘Life & Work’](https://www.socialigence.net/uncategorized/social-intelligence-the-essential-skill-for-tomorrows-life-work-3/)
- [“Social Intelligence – The Skill That Makes The All-Important Difference”](https://www.socialigence.net/uncategorized/social-intelligence-the-skill-that-makes-the-all-important-difference/)
- [Social Intelligence – The Essential Skill For Tomorrow’s ‘Life & Work’](https://www.socialigence.net/uncategorized/social-intelligence-the-essential-skill-for-tomorrows-life-work/)
- [Social Intelligence – The Essential Skill For Tomorrow’s ‘Life & Work’](https://www.socialigence.net/uncategorized/social-intelligence-the-essential-skill-for-tomorrows-life-work-2/)
- ["Social Intelligence For Entrepreneurs"-The Skill That Makes The All Important Difference..](https://www.socialigence.net/uncategorized/social-intelligence-for-entrepreneurs-the-skill-that-makes-the-all-important-difference/)
- [Foreboding India's partition through Social Intelligence - Nonverbal behavior of Jinnah and Gandhi!](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/foreboding-indias-partition-through-social-intelligence-nonverbal-behavior-of-jinnah-and-gandhi/) - Foreboding India's partition through Social Intelligence - Nonverbal behavior of Jinnah and Gandhi!
- [Can ‘Social intelligence’ help you predict someone’s future?](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/can-social-intelligence-help-you-predict-someones-future/) - Can ‘Social intelligence’ help you predict someone’s future? Well! Though not in the ‘tarot-card or astrology’ sense, the fact is that… It CAN! ……………… Let me explain… You will be surprised to know that just by looking at someone’s photograph in the school yearbook or college brochure, one can predict the person’s future married-life or
- [‘Social Intelligence’ in Research](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/social-intelligence-in-research/) - Social Intelligence, as a concept, was propounded by psychologist Edward Thorndike in 1920. In his own words, Social Intelligence is "the ability to understand and manage men and women, boys and girls, and to act wisely in human relations". So, by the very definition, the concept relates to both the cognitive aspects (the ability to
- [The Social Brain](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/the-social-brain/) - What does brain do most of the times? Marco Lacoboni, a discoverer of mirror neurons (we will soon see what they are), and Mathew Lieberman, a founder of social neuroscience, discovered that when nothing much is going on, the brain’s default activity is to mull over our relationships. Yes! It is its favorite downtime act.
- [How imagination shapes our brain](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/how-imagination-shapes-our-brain/) - One reason we can change our brains simply by imagining is that, from a neuro-scientific point of view, imagining an act and doing it are not much different. When people close their eyes and visualize a simple object, such as an alphabet, the primary visual cortex lights up, just as it would if the subjects
- [Cooperation and Empathy](https://www.socialigence.net/blog/cooperation-and-empathy/) - During the past 150-million year journey of animal evolution, the advantages of social abilities have been possibly the most important factor driving the development of the brain. The first proto mammals lived probably about 180 million years ago, followed by the earliest birds around 150 million years ago. Mammals and birds faced the same survival
- [Hello world!](https://www.socialigence.net/uncategorized/hello-world/) - Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start writing!

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## Indexings

- [‘Social Intelligence’ and ‘Nonverbal Behavior’ – The Concepts](https://www.socialigence.net/indexing/social-intelligence-and-nonverbal-behavior-the-concepts/)
- [Behavior of Arms and Hands](https://www.socialigence.net/indexing/behavior-of-arms-and-hands/)
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- [Behavior of Vocal Cues](https://www.socialigence.net/indexing/behavior-of-vocal-cues/)
- [Important Evaluation - Exercises 1](https://www.socialigence.net/indexing/important-evaluation-exercises-1/)
- [Basics of Deception](https://www.socialigence.net/indexing/basics-of-deception/)
- [Nonverbal Clues to Deception](https://www.socialigence.net/indexing/nonverbal-clues-to-deception/)
- [Verbal Clues to Deception](https://www.socialigence.net/indexing/verbal-clues-to-deception/)
- [Caveats](https://www.socialigence.net/indexing/caveats/)
- [Important Evaluation - Exercises 3](https://www.socialigence.net/indexing/important-evaluation-exercises-3/)
- [Sample exercise](https://www.socialigence.net/indexing/sample-exercise/)
- [Important Evaluation - Exercises 2](https://www.socialigence.net/indexing/important-evaluation-exercises-2/)
- [Brain and Behavior](https://www.socialigence.net/indexing/brain-and-behavior/)
- [Emotional & Social Intelligence](https://www.socialigence.net/indexing/emotional-social-intelligence/)
- [Awareness](https://www.socialigence.net/indexing/awareness/)
- [Attunement](https://www.socialigence.net/indexing/attunement/)
- [Adaptability](https://www.socialigence.net/indexing/adaptability/)
- [Test - ESI](https://www.socialigence.net/indexing/test-esi/)