“People don’t care how much you know unless they know how much you care”!Everyone from Theodore Roosevelt to John C. Maxwell has been given credit for this line, and yet there is no line more befittingly applicable to everyone from Manhattan to Papua New Guinea; and that too everywhere – in community-circles, corridors, cabins and cubicles.So what is it that makes this thought so universal? Well! It is the science behind it.
The fact remains that for us – the humans –our emotions play a far more important part than intellect in shaping our memories, perceptions, decisions and actions. And this tendency comes from the very design of our brain. As neuroscientist Paul D MacLean aptly named it ‘the triune brain’ concept, the fact is that we humans have three brains wrapped over one another.
Sacrificing depth for brevity, you can say that while the topmost layer is responsible for intelligence, the lower two are producers and consumers of emotions.So even in the most rational discussions and decisions, there is always an emotional undertone.That’s why it is important to connect emotionally even when you are appealing to someone’s intellect.
This can be attained in a profession with an appropriate mix of emotional intelligence and social intelligence – the root skills of all the interpersonal skills. Thus, take care of a few points, especially while presenting one’s ideas:
- Avoid ‘conclusion of points’ without ‘inclusion of people’. Yes! While it is important to begin with the end in mind, in discussions, the end should be ‘reached’ and not forced.
- Do not start your answers to any query with negative language like “No!” or “You didn’t understand”.People don’t like to be undermined even if they are utterly wrong.
- Maintain eye-contact with everyone in the group and not with just a few. It doesn’t make sense to make a few people feel exclusive while a few others feel alienated.
- Don’t just speak numbers, make numbers speak. In other words, help people visualize ‘facts & figures’(except when talking to outright experts).
- Above all, stay genuine. We, humans, have an eye for detecting deception (especially people who are trained or experienced), that’s why being genuine is an age-old advice that will always hold true.
Dr. Sandeep Atre (Founder-Director, Socialigence) – Online Courses (visit:www.socialigence.net) – Customized Workshops (call: 7223984622)