Metaphorically speaking, the annals of interpersonal communication are replete with the incidents when people have lost a relationship or an association due to one conversation gone wrong, one word said too many, one burst that came of out of the blue or one preconceived notion that came into play. Well, look back at life and you will realize that we all were also ‘not so far’ from an entry into those annals.
It’s amazing how what takes years to build can be at stake because of our failure to listen, restlessness to get back, hastiness to judge, or tendency to topple. Well, before we discuss it in some details, watch this video to get the gist of what we are discussing, why it is important, and how it has relevance in professional as well as personal context…
Yes, as you heard, in the matters of mind, “ABC stands for ‘Analyze Before Concluding’”. One shouldn’t come to conclusion before giving it a good thought. What you see in the first instance may be enough for a reaction but not for a response. For a response, one has to go beyond the obvious and the apparent. One has to wait a little longer…know a little further…think a little more.
And as the video explains, the rationale behind the point is rooted in neuroscience. If we look at our brain, we will find that whenever our senses take any inputs from environment that information reaches the response-centers of our brain through two routes. The first one can be termed as normal road. In this normal road, the intelligent upper centers of our brain are involved – collectively called ‘cortical areas’.
This normal road processes the information in a slow yet accurate manner. However, our brain also has a subway. In this route, sensory inputs directly reach an important part ‘amygdala’. Amygdala is the center of emotional memory, as well as of emotions like fear and anger. It is impulsive and reactive. Well, you must be wondering why this subway is there in the first place?
Well! This emergency route can take credit for saving humans for all these centuries. Just imagine, if you are going somewhere and there is a slight noise in the bush, then according to the normal road, you would first take in the complete information and then respond methodically. This is fine if a rabbit comes out of the bush. But what if it’s a snake?
In other words, this ‘fast though less accurate’ subway which reacts on merely raw information, has a utility for survival. However, the same subway that has utility for survival becomes a great problem in situations where survival is not at stake but the subway still takes over. To acknowledge this fact, track one’s state and do the needful, social & emotional intelligence is required.
Only an insight into the ‘design and function of human brain’ combined with psychological concepts can help you learn emotional & social intelligence – the skill of managing self and connecting with others. Yes, it is a skill that can be learnt, practiced and mastered. However, it all begins with some important realizations like…‘In the matters of mind, it is important to analyze before concluding’.
Dr. Sandeep Atre
‘Emotional & Social Intelligence’ Expert
Founder – Socialigence
Note: Socialigence (www.socialigence.net) offers self-paced video-based online course on ‘Social & Emotional Intelligence’ with content that has relevance across the globe, and delivery specifically customized according to the work-scenarios in India.